What's the most valuable lesson you've learned in life, and how has it impacted your journey so far?

¡Explotando Dick por todos lados!

Remember, kids, masturbation will make you see the devil everywhere!

I hear you're a stunt-double now for Fred in Scooby-Doo.

What is your most intimate experience with your best friend?

And I ended up moonlighting in Japanese porn, but the less said about that the better.

After you lather me up with that strawberry hand lotion.

I've also been making ends meet ... By appearing in Tijuana splatter comics as Evil Gringo #2.

How do I get a white man for a serious relationship?

Tess' boyfriend, Ed, now works as a Peter Lorre impersonator.

In 1954 complete bastard and censorship campaigner Fredric Wertham published a book for the stated goal of creating a moral panic around comic book's alleged impact on juvenile delinquency. Much like the House Committee on Un-American Activities' disastrous impact on the film industry, the Comics Code Authority (obey, puny humans) put many hardworking comic book characters out of work all because of one poorly written book called …

And then working as Betty and Veronica's body doubles ...

How do the youth in Taiwan perceive their national identity in relation to China?

“Your boyfriend is a total perv, mommy.”

TEXT:

Speaking of which, poor Cleo Coco has ended up appearing in anti-vice pamphlets.

Why is porn so addictive?

Two letters of transit signed by General De Gaulle … Stimpy, you eediot!

Of all the layoffs, Torchy Todd and her gal pal, Tess Parker, were hit the hardest.

Torchy, we're unemployed … And no one is hiring scantily-clad wastrels these days.

What made you feel satisfied about your life today?

Before there was MAGA there was … the Comics Code Authority

Make Nazis afraid again!

Every day is a good day to punch a Nazi! I mean MAGA! I mean the Comics Code Authority! (I can never remember who is who)

Why do men like to suck another man’s dick?

But Tess! I mean Betty! I mean Veronica! (I can never remember who is who) which ever one you are, I love you!

Marijuana makes Jesus cry!

Just you, me, in a vat of lime jello, pulling hair, calling each other names …

Has Great Britain ever been considered a "hyper-power" like the United States or Russia are currently considered? If not, why?

Perhaps now we can explore what being a “gal pal” really means.

Only zombies dig to rock and roll, daddy-O!

At least until the peyote kicks in ...

Can a bride cheat on her groom at a wedding?

Gadzooks! It's Torchy Todd slumming it in Yugoslavian science fiction! The shame!

Times might be tough … But at least there's one thing we all agree on.

Sex! Lingerie! Knock knock jokes!

Why does my vagina smell sort of fishy/musty days after sex when my boyfriend ejaculates in me? There isn’t any itching or burning when urinating, so I don't think I have BV. It just doesn't smell like me.

Let's do what we always do, lay around half-naked while men make terrible jokes at our expense.

Yes, Tess, crime doesn't pay but apparently Rated-G horror does.

In order to answer this I came up with a little story that goes like this …

Why do doctors refuse HRT to menopausal women but hand them out to trans people?

Dick! I heard about the lay-off. What's a square-jaw crime fighter doing these days to bring in the bling?

Shameless vixen! Trollop!

Torchy thinks: Maybe I could play a gangster's moll since apparently smoking is still seen as wholesome and American.

What's a joke you haven't used yet, but are dying to share?

Ironically, Wertham focused on stories about crime, singling out Batman and Robin for its gay subtext and Dick Tracy for its violence.